1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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