We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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