Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
