Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
