Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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