Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
