what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
