i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
