New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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