so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
