my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
