Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
