I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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