My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I want to fling myself into the sun
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
