I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
