I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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