A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
