Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
