Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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