Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
