wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
