remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize