I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
love makes seman taste better
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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