I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
