eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
