Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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