exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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