There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
