I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
