there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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