She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
