Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
