I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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