How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
