She just used a chaser for red wine.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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