Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
