Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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