At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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