K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
