Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
