he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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