you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
