I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
