I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
COCAINE IS GR8
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
