please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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