never play flip cup with pint glasses
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Semen is not good for contacts.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
