Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
