well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
