I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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