Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
