i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I have surprise drugs for everyone
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
